Wednesday, 20 November 2013
Winter is here with its biting teeth and dull light. I however do not feel the cold today so it can do its worst. I find myself content with my place in the world and all the comings and goings. Harmony is the word I am reaching for, being in balance. So with the routine of working nights broken I can return to some form of normality. My day will belong to day dreaming, thinking, tea drinking and reading all with my constant companion, the radio.
I have no desire to take any photographs at the moment, I think I know why and have found a possible answer in one of the many books I am currently reading. The need to draw, I say draw but the style I have is like a mixture of illustration and a doodle. Is not present at the moment, the need to move forward and study is present.
So I am trying to expand my horizons in order to, well let me quote Harold Speed. 'It is the privilege of the artist to show how wonderful and beautiful is all this music of colour and form, so that people, having been moved by it in his work, may be encouraged to see'.I lack the skill to encourage people to see, that is how I feel about my creative endeavours. I have never taken a photograph I have been truly happy with or drawn something that pays fitting tribute. So this need to pay tribute, this need to learn is fuelling me at the moment. It also means that I am slowly stepping back from the many social sites. I do not deny that these sites were a comfort and needed noise while I was in depression, now they are distraction and the noise is tiresome. I have a need to share what I create, but that is where it ends. I have no need to sell or try to build up some profile and the thought of being known, exposure is a very ill-fitting glove. Your motives have to be right in life for all things you do, honesty must be present. If it is not then your motives override any early intentions you have, you become distorted and with it hand in hand, what you create becomes less. I am idealistic perhaps, taking for granted that art in its many forms need to mean something, anything? Perhaps creating without inspiration, emotion or vital spark is just as valid, I don't believe that but who am I to judge.
So as the wind picks up again and the light is already retreating I leave you with these rambling thoughts. It is time to put the kettle on for more tea.